Dear friend,

 

Excellent piece ! But as a member of medical profession (or is it a literary credential) it could not have been different. You have covered almost all the points and analysed the entire issue thread-bare.

 

I am a layman and do not match your knowledge base. But as a sincere spiritual student, I beg to differ from the article on one point. Food stuff does influence thinking and essentially, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

 

There are specific references about the 3 kind of foods in Chapter XVII of the Bhagvad Gita and more informed friends may throw some more light on this.

 

RAJASIC FOOD- basically, non-vegetarian and even amongst vegetarian hot and spicy which are prone to keep you mentally excited or aggressive.

 

TAMASIC FOOD- all foods processed earlier- stale (not in the conventional sense of the term)-these tinned foods, pre-cooked etc. Likely to slow you down and make you lethargic and inactive.

 

SATIVIC FOOD-Vegetarian stuff, like fruits and vegetable- even amongst vegetables you should not pluck them, but they shold be shed by themselves-milk and milk products- likely to increase your mental balance and remain unaffected by adversities.

 

Apart from this the Bhagvad Puranam also has mention of how and why animals can be killed for human consumption- under what circumstances they are permitted and so on.

 

One other side issue, even if meat-eating was probibited and looked down upon, even forward class , consumed it surruptiously , by offering animal sacrifices.

 

Set aside states like Rajasthan and Gujarat- where vegetarianism is a way of life. In most states except West Bengal, the food habbit follow one pattern- the 'so-called-forwards' took only Vegetarian stuff while the 'lower classes' consumed non-vegetarian food also. Only in Bengal even 'Brahmins' are found to consume everything from eggs to fish to mutton .

 

 

Regards

SUNDARESAN SURESH

Dear friend,

 

Your blog was good; and the fact that it has been featured shows that there would be lot of intersted readers in such matters.

 

Your name - the flavour of your article - the "TARPANA RITUAL" you are referring to- all leaves little to imagination. I am 100% sure you must be a TAMBRAM. No apologies for being one as I am myself one too.

 

In presenting such views I feel you must be a little more pluralistic in your approach. Respect to ancestors or deceased relatives, as you have rightly mentioned, is a world-wide phenomenon. Only the rituals change. But the "Tarpanam" you are referring to is practised only by Brahmins of Tamilnadu (I am a native of Tamilnadu-aged 40, but born and brought up in Kolkata) and what would be there percentage in the population of Tamilnadu, I guess less than 5%. Other non-brahmin communites (like Tevars,Mudaliars,Chettiars,Pillai) do not follow this. Nor have I found this practice amongst the brahmins of our neighbours,AndhraPradesh,Karnataka or Kerala. Up North and in Bengal Amavasya is not given importance as a PITUR THITTI and Tarpan is given only on special Amavasyas like MAHALAYA. Even Among the TARPANAM PERFORMERS there are various schools- there is a rule SHANNAVIDHI where 96 TARPANAMS are performed in a year (12 Amavasyas+12 Tamil Mada Pirappu+ 48 others); then there are others who do it for Amavasyas,Grahanams and 4 Mada Pirappu (CHITTIRAI,ADI,AYPASI,THAI) like yours truly.

 

None of the three difficulties mentioned by you are insurmountable as you have yourself confessed.I have recently relocated to Durgapur and buy 1 year's DHARBAI requirements- keep sufficient stock of BLACK TIL and since Pandit s are not avilable do it by self. As for the Dakshina of the Pandit, I put a nominal amount in the Temple Hundi.

 

One peculiar phenomenon of the Tarpanam ritual is you perform this only when one's father expires not  when mother. However if the father is dead you take up father,grandfather and great grandfather coupled with grandmother (father's mother, since mother is alive),great grandmother and her mother on the father's side. Similary on the Mother's side you take up grand father(mother's father),great grandfather and his father along with grandmother(mother's mother,grandmother and her mother).

 

I guess I have blogged too much. But just like the tone of your writing and thought that a tip - respect ancestors in whichever fashion you feel best  should have been provided. It could be offering flowers and candles in the dead person's remeberance, it could be poor feeding on the day, it could donating something for a charitable organisation or it could be an elaborate SRARDHAM - but do it - do not leave it.

 

Regards

SUNDARESAN SURESH

Madam,

 

Interesting reading; One observation which came to my mind was- the matter has been dealt in a one-sided manner.  All the other sides/points-of--view of the issue could have been touched also.The first category consists of women like you, who receive encouragement, to do things independently, at their young age. If they are fortunate enough, like you ,to be surrounded a sharing and caring family, they are not required to exercise their skills. But in case they are required to , they are capable of doing it. Or if  misery befalls on them (God forbid !) they can rise to the occassion(like unexpected widowhood at an youngage and the necessity to bring up children). Then there is a second category  - which do not receive this kind of exposure (like the wealthy marwari women) and who are never required to do anything of this kind in their entire life.(There are atleast half-a-dozen servants in the household at any given point of time- they eat wealth,sleep wealth and even excreate wealth).We need not worry about them.But the third category brings us a disturbing thought.They are umpteen women-folk of this country, who ,unlike you,were not encouraged in their young age  and who are not,again unlike you, fortunate enough to get a helpful family setup and still have to put up with the ordeals out of compulsion. We need to spare a thought for them. There are millions of households where wives falter at these ordinary things and are mentally abused by their husbands and other family members for the same.. To put the thing in right context, these exposures should be provided to every girl-child by their parents. It would not only make them independent and self-confident but would also act as a guratneed safeguard against future abuse.

Dear Friend!

 

Good , interesting reading. For those of us (who are not lucky enough to avail of air travel frequently), Railways has improved and more importantly continues to improves. With more services like conservancy and pantry being given out to private enterprises, the scene will only improve. You were pleasantly surpised  more because you were travelling after a long gap.

 

The point you made about berths. Lallo & co is in fact thinking of increain the number of berths . There is a proposal to increase the side berths also to 3 in non-a/c coaches by increasing the height of the compartment.

 

Regards

SUNDARESAN SURESH

Hi,

 

I agree with most of your observations. I have myself been a fair-weather fan of Sachin.  I would like to take you down memory lane. In my school days , which almost coincided with Gavakar and Viswanath's carrer, (I was 5 years old when Sunny launched his international carrer and became a folklore in West Indies and England), there was this argument betwen myself (Gavaskar fan) and my elder brothers(Vishy Fan's). Now in the forties and a receeding hairline, apparent sign of wisdom, I realise that Sunny might have found a permanent place in the records of Test cricket and might be a statiscian's delight, but Vishy had won the hearts of millions and even now people would give their right arm to see him play. Who can forget his 97 not out at Chepauk and his 139 at Eden Garden's against the mighty Lloyds men in 1975? Likewise Tendulkar was a delight to watch earlier on when he played the game naturally. Now when he is trying to live up to his own image, he is struggling. If he really enjoys playing let him continue, if he feels he is not let him quit. Let's leave the decision to him.

 

The other point is he may be blocking the entry of a talented youngster although we do not seem to find too many around. Remember he himself made his debut as a teenager. Padmakar Shivalkar never got to play test cricket because Bishen Bedi was at the prime of his carrer. This led to Dilip Doshi making a late debut at 32 years of age.

 

If the potency of the weapon Sachin is lost (if the opponents perceive so) Sachin would not be doing justice in continuing. Records must  happen , they must not be made.

 

With Love

SURESH

Hi Boss !

 

Don't get me wrong.But what was the big idea in writing this? What merit did the Suleka Board find in it to be featured? Every budding writer (who beleives that he has writing skills) invariably sounds autobiographical.Truth to tell your article did make interesting reading. But what was the central message - what was it that you were trying to convey? I do not mean that every article should be thought provoking or serious in nature but atleast it must have a purpose. By your own account you seem to be an engineering professional. Could you not have punctuated the article with some irony at the end - something unexpected as the climatic ending? (totally against the jolly mood of the article). Do not mistake me - I am not giving you tips on good writing. Alternately you could have written about the importance of being professionally educated and making one's carrer. (Because most fans of filmstars idle away their time in the activities of Fan Club except for Kamalhasan's) despite being a 'devotee' of a star. Or atleast you could have mentioned about the pitfalls/dangers of blind hero worship which the stars themselves dissuade.

 

Once again, don't get me wrong. My idea is not to criticise your article or your writing. The fact that Sulekha is an open forum where an honest feed back would be taken in the right spirit prompted me to write this.

 

Yours truly

SUNDARESAN SURESH

Dear Shantanu Da,

 

The points of your article are well- said and well taken too. But I think the system of Proportional Representation is far superior to Democracy in all matters, be it political or appolitical.

 

Take the case of the recent UP elections. I remember having read that the voting percentage was well below 60%. Even if it is 60% even a 2/3rd majority works out  only to 40%.Worse in case of a simple majority where it is only 30%. So it clearly shows that the'first-past-the post-system' decides the winner but can well be against the majority. In a proportionatal representation each party or group has a say in the matter according to the percentage of votes polled (or any other yardstick) and thus there is an inbuilt need to be accomodative and inclusive.

 

Secondly the point about violence. As you have rightly mentioned, despite the availability of avences for registering protests in a peaceful manner, there is always a tendency to protest in a violent manner. I personally feel, that there is an "invisible spark' of violence in the psyche of most people. May be this was brought about by the self-preservation instincts. This sparks finds its expression in a mob or such other groups where indiviudal identity is suppressed and the image of the group is superimpose. You loose your face, as it were.

There is also the case of Domestic violence. Most rural (poor) households where this phenomenon is prevalent, the women folk are too meek (and weak) to register any kind of protest. Yet they are beaten up mercilessly. Agreed there is the psychological angle of perversion and sadicism. But I beleive that men just give vent to their violent feelings. In otherwords the 'stabiliser' in their system becomes malfunctional and the spark explodes. Because the same men, at other times, turn out to be dutiful husbands and affectionate fathers.

 

Finally as you have mentioned, the culture to accept differences and be 'inclusive' in one's approach must be taught from a young age. This will help you to hold on to your principles and yet be tolerant and accomodative without being animus and hostile to differing view points. After all, every one has a place. It is just that some realise it more than others.

 

Yours etc

SUNDARESAN SURESH

Dear SIr,

 

Your view point is well taken. But I would not agree the candidacy of either candidate. Our nation is a nation of youth. People in the 18-25 age group form the chunk of the population. The economic boom and the social betterment the country is experiencing is purely because of this group. Their hopes and aspirations are entirely different. How does a 70 plus man relate to them ? President Kalam was a glorious exception. Mentally he could fit into this age group effortlessly. He interacted more with school and college students.

 

You had made a mention of Pranab Mukherjee. As a Tamilian born and brought up in Kolkata, I can vouch for the fact that Pranab does not fit the prototype Bengali. He is not a non-conformist and lacks original thinking.Also except for a couple of occassions(the present  and the previous term where he won from Jangipur,West Bengal) he has always been elected to the LokSabha from Gujarat.

 

In my humble opinion, some dynamic personality either from the field of Business,Academics or Cultural field should don the mantle. Remember Viren J.Shah a technocrat turned politician as the governer of West Bengal was instrumental in causing the industrial turnaround of West Bengal.

 

With Regards

S.SURESH

Dear friend,

 

I think the first step to happiness is to realise that happiness is not an external condition. We do not derive happiness from external objects. Because if this is true the corollary must also be true -if the object is withdrawn you must be unhappy. Also if the object brings happiness why is the possessor not happy presently? (To illustrate - I may imagine that by owning a ca I will be happy - Why is it that the person who already has a car not happy?)

 

In fact we should not strive to be happy always. The more important thing is to realise that unhappiness is nothing but the other side of the coin. To remain equipoised under both  conditions, in fact at all extremes, is what one should aim for.

 

If it sounds too boring, refer to chapter II (verses 54-72) of the Bhagvad Gita.

 

SURESH