There was a news item in the paper, recently, which disturbed me and forced me to put pen to paper. It was about the Ministry of Social Justice’s plans to set-up age-old homes in every district of the country. Following the sociociological changes we have been undergoing, and the breaking of the joint family system, may be, this step is only a logical extension. Instead of unscrupulous, fly-by-night operators, making a kill ,by exploiting the situation, the earlier Government steps in, frames certain policy-guidelines for the conduct of old-age homes, the better. This is one way of looking at it.

But the other point of view is, as a nation built on strong familial values, should we allow this to happen? Is it not the primordial duty of every off-spring to take care of his parents in the twilight of their life? This is one distinguishing factor of the human race as opposed to the animal kingdom. While even the dogs and lions feed and nurture their young-ones, you seldom find a puppy or a cub taking care of the senior canine or lion.

We must, in the least, prove our superiority to the four-legged one! So let us try to examine the proposition from both the angles and arrive at a consensus.

 About Tamil-nadu couples in general and Chennai couples in particular, I have first-hand knowledge. The moment they tie the nuptial knot, they start planning the future of the would-be-born. To which nursery and school he would be admitted, which extra curricular activities he would pursue, which coaching classes he would attend, whether he would do his higher studies in IT, Medical or Engineering and so on. After obtaining a B.Tech or a B.E the road can lead only one-way. Take the first flight to US, complete Ms, Do your PhD, land up with a well-paying job, get an Indian or American wife, depending upon your preferences and remit money regularly to Chennai in order to show how you much you ‘care’ for your parents? In due course, obtain a Green card and become a US citizen. Visits to India become few and far between, necessitated either by the death of a near one, or a marriage in the family. Youths who have some warmth left in their heart and who would like to cling on to their roots, buy a palatial house or a spacious flat in an up-market locality for their parents. Others locate a reasonable old-age home to shunt their parents. The old-age home business, with a rich NRI clientele to boast, is on the upswing. As is the wont, some unscrupulous elements have entered the scene too. They run a home in some god-forsaken place with little or no facilites.They cook up all sorts of rules – caution money deposit, medical exigency deposit and so on. They fleece the NRI son and everyone except the old-age home owner (who is laughing his way to the bank) is unhappy. The parents are left with nothing but to brood over the seasonal/annual visits of their wards and may be weekly telephone calls.  They keep complaining to all and sundry that they are not looked after by their sons and all their efforts to bring them up as good individuals, one who would fulfill parental obligations, had failed. At least the sincere ones do this. The more sophisticated ones, digesting all the disappointments within, manage to justify their sons’ stand. They invent all sorts of reasons for his continued stay in US- he would not get that kind of a salary here, his wife cannot stand the pollution, children are used to the cozy ,American life-style and so on. What a pity! To this category, Governmental homes might be a welcome relief. They would not be cheated- they can expect a good standard of living including facilities like regular medical check-up and will be amidst comparatively pleasant surroundings. The Government can categorize these homes, as in the case of hospitality industry, like 3-star, 4-star, and 5-star and so on. Sons can choose ‘homes’ for their parents according to their paying capacity. The son is after all repaying his duty. Father got him admitted in the nursery. Now he in turn, his getting his father ‘admitted’ in the old-age home. Parents would be happy (!), their sons/daughters would be happy, Government would be happy too. For 2 reasons. It has done its duty towards the senior citizenry of the country and in the process has discovered some source of revenue generation as well. Admittedly, a win-win situation.

Let us study the other end of the spectrum. Getting higher education is certainly a necessity-but at what cost? Should you allow your old-age parents to live all by themselves, while you are busy chasing dollars? In life, does everything boil down to materialistic comforts only? Just one generation back, ½ a dozen children used to be the norm in every family. With a paltry income, parents did bring up the children to the best of their ability. Do all those sacrifices have no meaning? Has that generation (people who are in the 40 plus category like yours truly) not prospered? Compare and contrast it with the younger generation (25 - 40 age groups). Most of them would be abroad with parents in India we are in a liberalized economic state but to expect everything to be quantified and evaluated in monetary terms would be ridiculous. What price can you pay for the milk you are fed, as an infant, by your mother? A father himself may be an illiterate- but would go to any extent to educate his son. What is the yardstick for measuring this self-less sacrifice? While few parents, may be calculative and expect future benefits from their wards, I dare say, the vast majority of Indian parents bring up their sons/daughters without any ulterior motive. They look upon it as their duty. Period. In this scenario, the Government’s action makes little or no sense. I remember, there was a Supreme Court Ruling; recently. This is a body blow on 2 counts. One, the wards are not fulfilling their duty. Secondly Parents are seeing as it as failure on their parent- Not having brought up the son/daughter with right values. It is something like ‘I am any way drowning’ why don’t you also drown with me? The Court had ruled that sons had to look after their parents as this is within the ambit of one’s fundamental duty. The Government, should, in fact spare no effort, to implement this decision. One measure which comes to my mind is- the students going abroad for further studies (especially if they happen to be only son) should sign a bond that they have no plans of staying abroad permanently.

Having highlighted both points of view, I do not want to sound judgmental, advisory or even suggestive. It has to be on a case-to-case basis. Comments can only be passed depending upon the merits of the individual case. But to arrive at a general consensus, a general awareness has to be created in the minds of students about the necessity of having to look after their parents. To this end, acadmicians, educational institutions, Sociologists, Government and finally the parents all of them have to interact in a cohesive manner. Every student’s psyche should be embedded with this thought. The necessity of higher education and monetary well-being cannot be overstated. But this is not the ‘be-all-end-all’ of everything. Life is much more than mere economic wellness. Thus, as for as possible, sons and daughters should only take care of their parents. In exceptional cases, they can be admitted to old-age homes, running of which should be entrusted to Government agencies or Non-profit, Service Organization, where at least the wards can be sure about the safety and security of their parents.

Remember India believes in the dictum ‘LOKA SAMASTHO SUKINO BHAVANTHO’ [Let the entire universe, plant and animal kingdom included, be in a sate of happiness-bliss]. The concept of VASUDEVA KUDAMBHAKAM (World oneness-as an extended family) emanated from India. A nation is not only a geographical assimilation of various cultures and races. A nation is judged by the Values it stands for- let not our young folks down-grade themselves and go down in public opinion as well!